I was bothered of what happened to Jun Lozada, the whistle-blower of the ZTE scandal is now the one who is going to jail. What!? This is ridiculous, his case filed by Mike Defensor was perjury but the people Lozada accused have never been filed a single case. This is a big SLAP to the face of the Filipino people, the people who Lozada have exposed should be the one to be put in jail, all of them even the politicians or even the first gentleman who I’ve known nothing about but controversies.
The Arroyo Administration has denied that they’ve used Defensor to take revenge to Lozada. Well, they can deny all they want, after all that’s what they have doing for the past years. I believe this would be the best time for the Filipinos to take actions, I’m not saying that we should revolt against the government but at least we should show them that we are not stupid and ignorant. The election is coming so we have to expect a lot of controversies. If Lozada is going to jail then the people behind ZTE scandal should be the first to step in jail.
Let’s support the truth, let’s support Lozada.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
No Job? No Problem
Losing a job is one of the worst moments in someone’s life. After a long search and service for the company, you will receive the bad news or hear the sharp words; “You’re fired!” in less than 10 minutes and the next thing you know you’re out of the company. And then, it’s like you’re starting all over again, when frustration sets in you’ll come up with an idea to find another job. You will, again, climb the highest buildings and face the tidal wave of competition just to find out the ‘no vacancy’ sign on the door. How will you cope up with the daily expenses? How will you take care of your family? How about your dream? Can I take the risk of starting a small business? These questions settle in your mind and give you sleepless nights. Stressful isn’t it? Yes, it is, but losing your job is not the end of everything, it doesn’t mean that you will lose your dreams and become unsuccessful in life. If you lost something then gain something, there are effective ways of gaining a job much better from the one you lost, a job suitable for your skills, knowledge and even your talents, and eventually land in a fulfilling career. Just take advantage of the internet.
Nowadays with technology fast progressing, information is just at the tips of your fingers. If you’re not familiar using the internet, don’t worry, you’ll learn it in no time. Use the net to search for jobs that are demand today, if you have knowledge or expertise in a certain field, search for new trends about that field. From that point, evaluate what you have learned from the net and the expertise you have. If you consider changing your career path, also consider the new skills you have to learn and the trainings you have to undergo. And if you’re worrying about the companies where you could establish your new beginnings, the answer is just a click away. Skillbender.com provides, trainings, tips, seminars, everything you need to establish a new career path. All you have to do is send your resume.
Remember; don’t be afraid to learn new things. Learning is a continuous process. If you are worrying about your age try to read the story of Daniel Webster who learned fifteen languages at the age of fifty or Henry Ford who established a great enterprise at the age of sixty. How about Goethe who finished Faust when he was eighty-one or Sophocles who wrote Oedipus Rex at seventy-seven? Titian painted his greatest masterpiece at eighty-five and William Henry Jackson painted the historical murals in the new Department of the Interior, a Washington landmark at ninety-three. The list is long for the people who learned new things and eventually gained their goals unmindful of their age. Life is short, learn more, ignore the havoc of recession don’t let it destroy you just focus on self-improvement.
Always motivate yourself by complimenting the good qualities you have and the great things you’ve done. Tell yourself that you’re great and you will be great. Don’t worry about how long you have to wait to get a new job; Skillbender.com will not let you wait for a long time, you will be surprised one day – you have a new job. Take tests to measure how much you’ve changed, always seek for advice and ask questions.
Having a career is not always about how much salary you receive every month, it is also about finding your purpose and your full measure of happiness. But because of some circumstances, we are forced to build a new path towards our dreams, it might be painful at first, cry if you have to, but stood up and take another step, again. The path has been changed but it still leads to your dreams. With a little prayer and help from Skillbender.com, losing a job is not the end; it’s just the beginning of everything.
Losing a job is one of the worst moments in someone’s life. After a long search and service for the company, you will receive the bad news or hear the sharp words; “You’re fired!” in less than 10 minutes and the next thing you know you’re out of the company. And then, it’s like you’re starting all over again, when frustration sets in you’ll come up with an idea to find another job. You will, again, climb the highest buildings and face the tidal wave of competition just to find out the ‘no vacancy’ sign on the door. How will you cope up with the daily expenses? How will you take care of your family? How about your dream? Can I take the risk of starting a small business? These questions settle in your mind and give you sleepless nights. Stressful isn’t it? Yes, it is, but losing your job is not the end of everything, it doesn’t mean that you will lose your dreams and become unsuccessful in life. If you lost something then gain something, there are effective ways of gaining a job much better from the one you lost, a job suitable for your skills, knowledge and even your talents, and eventually land in a fulfilling career. Just take advantage of the internet.
Nowadays with technology fast progressing, information is just at the tips of your fingers. If you’re not familiar using the internet, don’t worry, you’ll learn it in no time. Use the net to search for jobs that are demand today, if you have knowledge or expertise in a certain field, search for new trends about that field. From that point, evaluate what you have learned from the net and the expertise you have. If you consider changing your career path, also consider the new skills you have to learn and the trainings you have to undergo. And if you’re worrying about the companies where you could establish your new beginnings, the answer is just a click away. Skillbender.com provides, trainings, tips, seminars, everything you need to establish a new career path. All you have to do is send your resume.
Remember; don’t be afraid to learn new things. Learning is a continuous process. If you are worrying about your age try to read the story of Daniel Webster who learned fifteen languages at the age of fifty or Henry Ford who established a great enterprise at the age of sixty. How about Goethe who finished Faust when he was eighty-one or Sophocles who wrote Oedipus Rex at seventy-seven? Titian painted his greatest masterpiece at eighty-five and William Henry Jackson painted the historical murals in the new Department of the Interior, a Washington landmark at ninety-three. The list is long for the people who learned new things and eventually gained their goals unmindful of their age. Life is short, learn more, ignore the havoc of recession don’t let it destroy you just focus on self-improvement.
Always motivate yourself by complimenting the good qualities you have and the great things you’ve done. Tell yourself that you’re great and you will be great. Don’t worry about how long you have to wait to get a new job; Skillbender.com will not let you wait for a long time, you will be surprised one day – you have a new job. Take tests to measure how much you’ve changed, always seek for advice and ask questions.
Having a career is not always about how much salary you receive every month, it is also about finding your purpose and your full measure of happiness. But because of some circumstances, we are forced to build a new path towards our dreams, it might be painful at first, cry if you have to, but stood up and take another step, again. The path has been changed but it still leads to your dreams. With a little prayer and help from Skillbender.com, losing a job is not the end; it’s just the beginning of everything.
Friday, April 24, 2009
When Tables Have Been Turned
Lance Corporal Daniel Smith has officially left the Philippines after almost 3 years of being jailed because of rape. He has now flown to his home country but I'm sure he will not forget what had happened to him. As for Nicole, she is now also in the U.S. and had moved on but is now still haunted for what she did-she announced that she isn't really sure if what had happened was rape. Because of this, the accused became the victim and the victim is now the target of the anger of the Filipino people. The tables have been turned.
I could not blame the court of letting Lance Corporal Daniel Smith because what had happened is the result of Nicole's actions. Some would say that Nicole was bribed; some would say that she realized what really happened was just a plain "job", etc... Honestly, I don't know what happened to Nicole that changed her mind but the Filipinos are now angry at her and, also, I could not blame them.
In this case, it's safe to say that Nicole's statements are not the only factor for Smith's freedom. I want to believe that the court has intelligently studied the case so that the issue of Smith being a victim of injustice here in the Philippines will be erased especially in the mind of the foreigners. This is now a question of dignity.
I really hope that Smith has learned his lessons and would respect women and I hope he finally understood the meaning of "reputation". If there are problems regarding VFA (Visiting Forces Agreement), it should be properly discussed because there's a lot of pros and cons about it. By this way, we can prevent what had happened. And for Nicole, I really wish that she had happened, she should be ready for the consequences of her actions, this is a serious matter knowing that after all she has won the case and the flipping all the cards.
But as what I believed before, poverty is the main factor of the Subic rape case. As long as there is poverty, prostitution would be present. So, politicians please do your jobs instead of arguing because of nonsense matters.
I could not blame the court of letting Lance Corporal Daniel Smith because what had happened is the result of Nicole's actions. Some would say that Nicole was bribed; some would say that she realized what really happened was just a plain "job", etc... Honestly, I don't know what happened to Nicole that changed her mind but the Filipinos are now angry at her and, also, I could not blame them.
In this case, it's safe to say that Nicole's statements are not the only factor for Smith's freedom. I want to believe that the court has intelligently studied the case so that the issue of Smith being a victim of injustice here in the Philippines will be erased especially in the mind of the foreigners. This is now a question of dignity.
I really hope that Smith has learned his lessons and would respect women and I hope he finally understood the meaning of "reputation". If there are problems regarding VFA (Visiting Forces Agreement), it should be properly discussed because there's a lot of pros and cons about it. By this way, we can prevent what had happened. And for Nicole, I really wish that she had happened, she should be ready for the consequences of her actions, this is a serious matter knowing that after all she has won the case and the flipping all the cards.
But as what I believed before, poverty is the main factor of the Subic rape case. As long as there is poverty, prostitution would be present. So, politicians please do your jobs instead of arguing because of nonsense matters.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sometimes in April
My current situation is in the boundaries of being a mess and trying to get out from that mess, honestly from this point I really don’t know what to do and where to go. After a lot of ups and downs for the past 2 years, I have faced the miserable turning points in my life that almost shattered the very foundations of my dying hope. But sometimes in April I would walk down the memory lane and try to live each and every moment where I used to be a joyful boy without worries torturing my mind. Sometimes in April I would bring back to life the moments I had with my grandmother before her tragic lost.
It has been 4 long years since I’ve been to my hometown. I would wonder how my beloved hometown looks now. I’m sure that many things have changed for the past 4 years-some houses might have gone, some places might have been developed or destroyed and some people I know might have already gone and all I can do here is to wonder what is going on there.
We would spend our vacation there when I was a boy, we would stay in our grandmother’s house and play around the backyard, we would run around all morning, climb the trees, feed the chickens and watch the wide rice fields as God paints the sky of His masterpiece each single afternoon while the birds fly by from afar creating a wonderful sight with the wind kissing my cheeks and at that moment I felt so close to nature, so close that I didn’t want it to end.
There is a river where I learned how to swim and it is also the place where my grandmother and me used to spend time together. She would wash the laundries there and I would search for crabs or play with my friends. My grandmother would tell me entertaining stories about a lot of things, we would eat our lunch on the huge rocks on the waters and we would go home in the afternoon. But first, we would chat with the people we would pass by living near the river. It was such a pleasant memory.
But after my grandmother passed away, those moments turned into just memories that would never happen again. They would bring me nostalgia and would visit me especially at the hard times of my life. I really miss my grandmother and the precious moments we’ve shared. I also miss my province where I have felt excessive happiness. But from this point, I have to build my own life, I have to make decisions that would sculpt my future, and I have to face the awful truths of being a man. But I’m still hoping that sometimes in April I would come home to my hometown and somehow relive the memories.
Sometimes in April, rain would come in the middle of a sunny day, replacing the sunny afternoon heat with the sound of angry raindrops on the roofs. Sometimes in April, I would believe that everything’s going to be all right in the middle of painful struggles, replacing the sufferings with the flame of hope caged by cold frustrations. And sometimes in April, I would just lie down and wonder what would life bring me in many Aprils to come.
It has been 4 long years since I’ve been to my hometown. I would wonder how my beloved hometown looks now. I’m sure that many things have changed for the past 4 years-some houses might have gone, some places might have been developed or destroyed and some people I know might have already gone and all I can do here is to wonder what is going on there.
We would spend our vacation there when I was a boy, we would stay in our grandmother’s house and play around the backyard, we would run around all morning, climb the trees, feed the chickens and watch the wide rice fields as God paints the sky of His masterpiece each single afternoon while the birds fly by from afar creating a wonderful sight with the wind kissing my cheeks and at that moment I felt so close to nature, so close that I didn’t want it to end.
There is a river where I learned how to swim and it is also the place where my grandmother and me used to spend time together. She would wash the laundries there and I would search for crabs or play with my friends. My grandmother would tell me entertaining stories about a lot of things, we would eat our lunch on the huge rocks on the waters and we would go home in the afternoon. But first, we would chat with the people we would pass by living near the river. It was such a pleasant memory.
But after my grandmother passed away, those moments turned into just memories that would never happen again. They would bring me nostalgia and would visit me especially at the hard times of my life. I really miss my grandmother and the precious moments we’ve shared. I also miss my province where I have felt excessive happiness. But from this point, I have to build my own life, I have to make decisions that would sculpt my future, and I have to face the awful truths of being a man. But I’m still hoping that sometimes in April I would come home to my hometown and somehow relive the memories.
Sometimes in April, rain would come in the middle of a sunny day, replacing the sunny afternoon heat with the sound of angry raindrops on the roofs. Sometimes in April, I would believe that everything’s going to be all right in the middle of painful struggles, replacing the sufferings with the flame of hope caged by cold frustrations. And sometimes in April, I would just lie down and wonder what would life bring me in many Aprils to come.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
My Mother's Sacrifice
Many of my friends compliment the appearance of my hands, they would tell me that they're unique, beautiful, soft, etc. But when I was a child I would think that there something wrong with them, I thought they are "weird". My aunt told me that my hands look exactly the same as my mother-that was long before she had children.
Last night I was massaging my mother's tired hands, they are rough, thin, scratched, the skin tells a lot of story about suffering, pain and sacrifice but still you can see the beauty they once had. And as my fingers try to ease the pain of my mother's long day work, I realized that being a mother is the hardest role to play in this cruel world.
When we moved in Commonwealth living each single day is a struggle, but somehow my mother find a way to earn money so that we could eat 3 times a day. Almost every morning I would hear the sound of the running water, the "crunchy" sound of the clothes being washed over and over again. And as I watch my mother wash the laundries of our neighbors, I would see her hands being "tortured" and battered but she never mind it, what's all in her mind is the agony would provide our daily needs.
I have witnessed it for long years until this very day. Every night I could see her managing the pain the laundries have brought her. She would put ointment onto those tired hands and try to have a quiet sleep for tomorrow she would do it all over again. All I can do is to massage her hands, and as I see the big difference of our hands I made a promise that I would do the best I can to somehow give her a better life and I don't care if my hands would lose their beauty, that's the least I can do for her sacrifice, and her love.
Last night I was massaging my mother's tired hands, they are rough, thin, scratched, the skin tells a lot of story about suffering, pain and sacrifice but still you can see the beauty they once had. And as my fingers try to ease the pain of my mother's long day work, I realized that being a mother is the hardest role to play in this cruel world.
When we moved in Commonwealth living each single day is a struggle, but somehow my mother find a way to earn money so that we could eat 3 times a day. Almost every morning I would hear the sound of the running water, the "crunchy" sound of the clothes being washed over and over again. And as I watch my mother wash the laundries of our neighbors, I would see her hands being "tortured" and battered but she never mind it, what's all in her mind is the agony would provide our daily needs.
I have witnessed it for long years until this very day. Every night I could see her managing the pain the laundries have brought her. She would put ointment onto those tired hands and try to have a quiet sleep for tomorrow she would do it all over again. All I can do is to massage her hands, and as I see the big difference of our hands I made a promise that I would do the best I can to somehow give her a better life and I don't care if my hands would lose their beauty, that's the least I can do for her sacrifice, and her love.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Rico's First Crime
I was on the window staring at my plants when I saw Rico under a jackfruit tree two roofs away from their house. I was wondering what he was doing there, I thought he was just playing when I suddenly glance at an unripe jackfruit hanging and Rico was about to grab it while the owner has no idea of what is happening. I tried to shout at him but it was too late.
In squatter’s area where we live, houses are so small that many of them share the same walls. Our house has four walls (naturally) and all of those walls are the same walls of our neighbor’s houses (just try to visualize it, it’s not that complicated). Fortunately, my father had been able to put up a second floor, but again the walls of our second floor, except the north and south where we managed to build two windows and if you come out of those windows you could walk on the roofs of other houses, the remaining walls are the same walls of our neighbors' houses that’s why sometimes we could hear what’s happening in our neighbors’ place, sometimes I could here if there is trouble or if something fishy is going on or if someone is about to do something naughty and one of them is Rico.
Rico was such a pain on the butt ever since the day he learned to walk, he sent six of his friends running home sometimes with a large bruise on their arm, a bleeding lip, scratched forehead and he almost fractured one of his friends arm. And also a lot of times I saw Rico dashing home with blood on his forehead or his elbows, he was such a naughty naughty boy and sometimes his mother would joke that she will not be surprised if she will discover her son inside the jail, her joke has almost come true that boring afternoon but brought me delight and I couldn’t help myself but to laugh out loud of what I saw.
It was a big green jackfruit about ¾ the size of Rico and he was eager to pull it out of the tree. I shouted two times but he didn’t bother although they brought a little nervousness, I could see that in his face but he continue to rotate the green fruit until it snapped out of the tree’s branch. He was barely embracing the spiky jackfruit and I was a little nervous that the owner might see him and suddenly catch him and beat him or worst he might got shot. The jackfruit slipped from Rico’s arms but he grabbed it quickly making a lot of sounds that made him ran a little faster. With his sister and his cousin cheering him, he ran as fast as he could and for less than 10 seconds he managed to run over the two roofs while holding the big green fruit.
I was laughing hard when Rico finished his crime, thank God he was just a 5-year old boy and he couldn’t be jailed for what he did. He received a barrage of preaching and spanking from his parents and from my mother but he is used to it, he really is a naughty naughty naughty little boy I wonder what he will be in the future. We were silent of what had happened because it might create a hell of trouble knowing that some people in our area are blood thirsty even to those who aren’t “man enough”, I’ve experienced it actually.
Rico might forget it when he grew up but that scene will be painted in my memory forever. It was the day that Rico committed his first crime, and I just hope that he will never ever going to do that ever again.
In squatter’s area where we live, houses are so small that many of them share the same walls. Our house has four walls (naturally) and all of those walls are the same walls of our neighbor’s houses (just try to visualize it, it’s not that complicated). Fortunately, my father had been able to put up a second floor, but again the walls of our second floor, except the north and south where we managed to build two windows and if you come out of those windows you could walk on the roofs of other houses, the remaining walls are the same walls of our neighbors' houses that’s why sometimes we could hear what’s happening in our neighbors’ place, sometimes I could here if there is trouble or if something fishy is going on or if someone is about to do something naughty and one of them is Rico.
Rico was such a pain on the butt ever since the day he learned to walk, he sent six of his friends running home sometimes with a large bruise on their arm, a bleeding lip, scratched forehead and he almost fractured one of his friends arm. And also a lot of times I saw Rico dashing home with blood on his forehead or his elbows, he was such a naughty naughty boy and sometimes his mother would joke that she will not be surprised if she will discover her son inside the jail, her joke has almost come true that boring afternoon but brought me delight and I couldn’t help myself but to laugh out loud of what I saw.
It was a big green jackfruit about ¾ the size of Rico and he was eager to pull it out of the tree. I shouted two times but he didn’t bother although they brought a little nervousness, I could see that in his face but he continue to rotate the green fruit until it snapped out of the tree’s branch. He was barely embracing the spiky jackfruit and I was a little nervous that the owner might see him and suddenly catch him and beat him or worst he might got shot. The jackfruit slipped from Rico’s arms but he grabbed it quickly making a lot of sounds that made him ran a little faster. With his sister and his cousin cheering him, he ran as fast as he could and for less than 10 seconds he managed to run over the two roofs while holding the big green fruit.
I was laughing hard when Rico finished his crime, thank God he was just a 5-year old boy and he couldn’t be jailed for what he did. He received a barrage of preaching and spanking from his parents and from my mother but he is used to it, he really is a naughty naughty naughty little boy I wonder what he will be in the future. We were silent of what had happened because it might create a hell of trouble knowing that some people in our area are blood thirsty even to those who aren’t “man enough”, I’ve experienced it actually.
Rico might forget it when he grew up but that scene will be painted in my memory forever. It was the day that Rico committed his first crime, and I just hope that he will never ever going to do that ever again.
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Children of Poverty
Everyday of my life I would walk along the streets of Commonwealth Avenue. I’m used of the place; my family has lived here for almost 16 years. A lot of things had changed since we arrived fresh from the province; the road has widen, infrastructures were built and some were destroyed, the dirty areas have been dirtier, criminal rate has incredibly gone high but one thing has never changed since the very day I stepped on the ground of Commonwealth avenue-poverty.
With no assurance of what will happen to us here in Manila, my father took the risk of selling our small house in Camarines Sur (Bicol region) and moving here for a brighter future and for better opportunities. We arrived here almost empty handed but that was not really the problem, I and my sister’s biggest problem was the adjustment. We are not used of the noisy and stinky street of the city but little by little, or should I say we have no choice, eventually we have surpassed the challenges.
When I was in elementary I started to understand our real situation, the big difference of being rich and being poor. Unlike in the province where I don’t mind if all we could eat were root crops as long as I can see the beauty of nature just about ten steps from our wide backyard and all who live there has the same house and same situation as we were, but here in the city it is so much different. And living in the squatter’s area is like embracing the fact that poverty has caught us and spiked its claws really deep.
Ironically, you would not find the definition of “wealth” in Commonwealth Avenue only the different faces of poverty-innocent naked children running on the streets, blind people stretching there wary hands for spare coins, people walking the blistering streets who had lost there mind because of different reasons but mainly because poverty had eaten their wholeness, beggars, beggars and more beggars along the way. Sometimes I think about their future and how they would enjoy life especially the innocent children who are not yet aware of their present situation, how would they go to school and live their lives? And most often I would question God; sometimes I could not understand His plans.
Whenever I see every face of poverty, I would think of ways to help them but even I could not help myself-being out of school and also unemployed for two years, I’m a graduate of just 2-year computer science but I’m still thankful of my father’s perspirations so if you’re a graduate of a 4-year course and also a degree but could not still find a job, think about me for heaven’s sake!!!. I’m still eager to find a job but I also had a disease and that’s another problem but I’m still hopeful that one day I would find my place in the corporate world, I am maybe ambitious but that’s all I have. I need to find a way to get out from the claws of poverty somehow and also I’m still praying for the “children of poverty” because I, myself is also one of them.
A part of me still waiting for the time that someday, somehow poverty will vanish and all the sufferings will be replaced with joy. I don’t know when, I don’t know how but I’m still hoping. We, the children of poverty, will find harmony maybe not in this world maybe somewhere I just know we will, I just know…
We are the children of poverty and we are also the children of God…
With no assurance of what will happen to us here in Manila, my father took the risk of selling our small house in Camarines Sur (Bicol region) and moving here for a brighter future and for better opportunities. We arrived here almost empty handed but that was not really the problem, I and my sister’s biggest problem was the adjustment. We are not used of the noisy and stinky street of the city but little by little, or should I say we have no choice, eventually we have surpassed the challenges.
When I was in elementary I started to understand our real situation, the big difference of being rich and being poor. Unlike in the province where I don’t mind if all we could eat were root crops as long as I can see the beauty of nature just about ten steps from our wide backyard and all who live there has the same house and same situation as we were, but here in the city it is so much different. And living in the squatter’s area is like embracing the fact that poverty has caught us and spiked its claws really deep.
Ironically, you would not find the definition of “wealth” in Commonwealth Avenue only the different faces of poverty-innocent naked children running on the streets, blind people stretching there wary hands for spare coins, people walking the blistering streets who had lost there mind because of different reasons but mainly because poverty had eaten their wholeness, beggars, beggars and more beggars along the way. Sometimes I think about their future and how they would enjoy life especially the innocent children who are not yet aware of their present situation, how would they go to school and live their lives? And most often I would question God; sometimes I could not understand His plans.
Whenever I see every face of poverty, I would think of ways to help them but even I could not help myself-being out of school and also unemployed for two years, I’m a graduate of just 2-year computer science but I’m still thankful of my father’s perspirations so if you’re a graduate of a 4-year course and also a degree but could not still find a job, think about me for heaven’s sake!!!. I’m still eager to find a job but I also had a disease and that’s another problem but I’m still hopeful that one day I would find my place in the corporate world, I am maybe ambitious but that’s all I have. I need to find a way to get out from the claws of poverty somehow and also I’m still praying for the “children of poverty” because I, myself is also one of them.
A part of me still waiting for the time that someday, somehow poverty will vanish and all the sufferings will be replaced with joy. I don’t know when, I don’t know how but I’m still hoping. We, the children of poverty, will find harmony maybe not in this world maybe somewhere I just know we will, I just know…
We are the children of poverty and we are also the children of God…
Sunday, April 5, 2009
There's still Hope...
I would wake up 9 in the morning and take up 2 tablets of medicine just to sustain my "fragile life" and the moment I swallow the 2 "bitter pills", I wonder-is there any hope left for me?.
Before a spot was discovered inside my left lung, I was a desperate jobseeker trying my chances of enormous yet elusive oppurtunities inside the buildings at ayala avenue. I got my chances when I was hired in a call center company and unfortunately they forgot to call me back. I was almost losing hope when an IT company called me and trained me as a Java Progammer. It was a "seesaw" sitauation-I, myself and even the company wasn't sure if the job oppurtunity is securely in hand. After almost 4 months and I guess hundreds of decisions made, my dreams were in front of me when disaster striked.
The doctor's words were like curse penetrating my bones-I have a spot inside my lung or I call it "pre-TB", and I have to take medications for 6 long devastating months. I was frustrated, many times I would question God and wait for His answers but I just found myself sobbing or sometimes tears would fall from my eyes. All the emotions were circling inside me-I was tired I didn't know what to do. "Am I gonna die?", "What will happen after this?", "Will I ever find a job?", and a lot of questions inside my mind and I would just try to imagine things that merely give me comfort or forget what I'm going through.
After the first half of my medications, I planted tomatoes, peppers, flowers inside cans filled with soil (we don't have a backyard, in case your wondering) so that I have the reason to wake up every morning and look over my "farm" if the plants made progress. Another half of my medication, I have drawn anime characters at the back of illustration boards so that I have things to do in a sunny afternoon-I used to draw anime characters when I was a child, so doing things I have long done before is quite refreshing.
I have learned a lot, the love of my parents have nourished me enough and the care of my friends eased the pain somehow. Most of all, I've learned the value of life, I've learned to appreciate even the smallest things I have never imagined I would appreciate. I learned how to symphatize with people that suffers from whether emotional stress or any disease they are undergoing, I've learned to pray to God more often than before-sometimes I find it weird when I talk to someone inside my mind, maybe I was talking to God.
Today is my last day of my medication, I'm happy and also worried because again I have to face the challenge of finding a job and also the fact that my medical issue might affect my "quest". But after what I have gone through and the valuable lessons I have acquired, I am still hopeful, hope is all I got and I know I will survive-I must.
Before a spot was discovered inside my left lung, I was a desperate jobseeker trying my chances of enormous yet elusive oppurtunities inside the buildings at ayala avenue. I got my chances when I was hired in a call center company and unfortunately they forgot to call me back. I was almost losing hope when an IT company called me and trained me as a Java Progammer. It was a "seesaw" sitauation-I, myself and even the company wasn't sure if the job oppurtunity is securely in hand. After almost 4 months and I guess hundreds of decisions made, my dreams were in front of me when disaster striked.
The doctor's words were like curse penetrating my bones-I have a spot inside my lung or I call it "pre-TB", and I have to take medications for 6 long devastating months. I was frustrated, many times I would question God and wait for His answers but I just found myself sobbing or sometimes tears would fall from my eyes. All the emotions were circling inside me-I was tired I didn't know what to do. "Am I gonna die?", "What will happen after this?", "Will I ever find a job?", and a lot of questions inside my mind and I would just try to imagine things that merely give me comfort or forget what I'm going through.
After the first half of my medications, I planted tomatoes, peppers, flowers inside cans filled with soil (we don't have a backyard, in case your wondering) so that I have the reason to wake up every morning and look over my "farm" if the plants made progress. Another half of my medication, I have drawn anime characters at the back of illustration boards so that I have things to do in a sunny afternoon-I used to draw anime characters when I was a child, so doing things I have long done before is quite refreshing.
I have learned a lot, the love of my parents have nourished me enough and the care of my friends eased the pain somehow. Most of all, I've learned the value of life, I've learned to appreciate even the smallest things I have never imagined I would appreciate. I learned how to symphatize with people that suffers from whether emotional stress or any disease they are undergoing, I've learned to pray to God more often than before-sometimes I find it weird when I talk to someone inside my mind, maybe I was talking to God.
Today is my last day of my medication, I'm happy and also worried because again I have to face the challenge of finding a job and also the fact that my medical issue might affect my "quest". But after what I have gone through and the valuable lessons I have acquired, I am still hopeful, hope is all I got and I know I will survive-I must.
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